Blaze Achew Pandamonium’s Advice to Hugh Wyles on Recipes to Recover his Health
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“You must be careful and eat only mice,
Not voles nor moles nor shrews however nice,
And must avoid at all costs nibbling rabbits:
They give a purrson some strange bouncing habits;
Yet mice, especially, will make you strong,
And make your whiskers all grow straight and long,
What’s more, if you will take my fine advice,
Real ratatouille, with rats unskilled in vice,
For feasting on ferocity can make
Your tummy wriggle like an anxious snake.
I also recommend some singing birds:
They make a tomcat’s meow too rich for words.
No mauling dogs until your mighty growl
Recuperates enough again to prowl
And gaze with ardor at fine human kitties
Who are endowed with huge humongous titties.
So pay attention right now to your vets,
No matter how ridiculous it gets,
And nap and stretch and yawn, eat many mice:
You’ll be back purring with us in a trice!”
Author notes
I found this in my office. I knew who to forward it to.
Hugh Wyles was a phenomenal poet from New Zealand whom I met on Allpoetry.com, and Blaze’s frequent correspondent.
Written May 30, 2012 © Anissa Nedzel Gage, All rights reserved
Anissa Nedzel Gage = Purrsanthema
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